Wednesday, April 20, 2016

My grandmother, Jozsa

We are about to celebrate Pesach, and I think of my grandmother at whose table we had the Seders during the first nine years of my life, Seders that left a lasting impression on me. The Seders were given by my grandfather, Gyula, but it was my grandmother who enabled it to happen. There would have been a large number of people around the table, the immediate family, my two aunts, my uncle, us four, my cousin, Andris, his parents and grandmother who was a friend of my grandfather from his bachelor days, my grandfather's niece Erzsi and her son Gyuri, Politzer, a young man who worked in my grandfather's office, my grandmother, Matild, my father's mother, a widow by then, and perhaps a few more guests. It was a resplendent dinner. My grandmother ruled over it with quiet dignity and made sure that everything was done as it should be.  She was a remarkable woman. There are few photographs of her, and on these she appears as an unsumiling, strict, purposeful small and plump woman. She was one to respect rather than love. She was a country girls with interrupted primary schooling. She was self taught, self educated, who was familiar with the classics of Hungarian literature and could hold her own in any conversation. She set great store on giving her daughters a good education. She came from Veszto, a small country town in Bekes County in South East of Hungary. She was orphaned at a young age. Her mother made a living by selling honey cakes at the local fair. Her father, Reb Lezer Wolf, seems to have done nothing but study and help around the synagogue. Jozsa, my grandmother was largely brought up by Lezer Wolf's second wife. When she was old enough to go out to works she was sent to help distant relatives, who ran an inn in Rackeve, on Csepel Island, south of Budapest. My grandfather, Gyula met her there. He had a  position at the Tallow Marketing Board together with his good friend Karoly. This provided them with good contacts later in life. They traveled to work form Budapest on the horse-drawn tram. One of their fellow passengers was the beautiful young school teacher, Janka. I believe that both young men were smitten by her, Karoly married Janka, while Gyula married the young woman who served them their lunch at the inn In Rackeve, Jozsa, known as Pepi. Jozsa was described by Gyula's friends as 'that little round plump girl'. She was not pretty and would have brought little dowry with her. Perhaps some considered that Gyula, a smart young man with matriculation from one of the best academic high schools, could have done better for himself, but Jozsa, the simple little country girl became the rock of his life, the one who held his various business ventures and his family of four girls together. Jozsa didn't have an easy life. Her second daughter, Margitka was handicapped, a cretin who didn't start to develop, grow and learn to speak until she was in her early twenties, and to the end of her life she was like an affectionate five year old girl. Jozsa devoted her life to caring for her handicapped daughter and sheltering her. Because she could seldom go out friends and relations came to visit her, and she was noted for her hospitality. She also took in and cared for nieces and nephews who moved to Budapest from the country, the two daughters of my grandfather's sister, Sari and Maca, from Lugos, the son of my grandmother's half brother, Laci from Bekescsaba. And it was Jozsa who persuaded my grandfather to buy their delightful holiday home in Matyasfold and their investment property in Fecske Street. When in October 1944, during the reign of the Nyilas government, my mother was deported to Lichtenworth, an Austrian labour camp, my brother and I were left in the care of my grandmother. She also took in and took care of two children in our block of flats, whose mother was also deported and were left on their own. This is the kind of person she was. These two children escaped on their way to the Budapest ghetto. In the ghetto Jozsa took care of us and the family. After the war she was there for us until my mother returned from the concentration camp, then she contracted typhus and died. She lived as long as she was needed. With my mother back to take care of us her task was done. 

 

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